The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) Page 2

  Paige shook her head as Hazel readjusted her sarong, and the elder sister got up from her patch of grass. She strode purposely around the smoky barbecue to her younger sister and snatched the brightly coloured garment from her grasp. Hazel shrieked. “Give it back,” the teenager yelled and Paige backed away from her, holding the red sarong in her hands.

  “It'll do you good,” she teased. “Teach you that your scars are …”

  “Paige, give it back to me.” Hazel shouted as she frantically covered herself with her hands and advanced on her sister. “Everyone's looking at me.”

  “Yes, 'cause you are acting like a baby,” Paige taunted. The voice of her mother ordering Paige to return the silky garment to her sister went unheeded, and the tormentor skipped away as Hazel chased her sibling through the pitched tents, who was jumping over guy ropes with gleeful cackling.

  Paige wound her way through the canvas shelters and the site; she was nimbler than her younger and taller sister and her red hair streaked out behind her as she ran. Paige mocked her emotional sibling as she jumped over a sunbathing boy and held the sarong out in front of her. “Scared of being seen, are we?”

  “Paige, I bloody hate you,” Hazel screamed as she caught up with her sister and her hand pushed the coltish tease in the face so that she fell to the ground. Hazel snatched the sarong from her sister's grasp as the red-haired soubrette landed with a bump and snarled viciously.

  Paige cried out in pain as she landed, and swept her feet across the backs of Hazel's legs so that she fell on the soft grass alongside her. “Don't push me like that.”

  “Well don't take my sarong then,” Hazel moaned, and their spat was interrupted by their big-breasted mother striding across the camp site, to scold her errant offspring.

  “This is the last time we will be on holiday together,” she moaned. “You two are getting too big to go away on holiday with us so don't spoil it for us.”

  “But …”

  “But you're as bad as one another,” she spat and dragged Hazel up by the arm. Paige scrambled to her feet and walked back in silence, allowing her sister and mother to walk in front of her.

  “What's up with your friend?” The sunbathing teenage boy asked as Paige drew level.

  “She's my sister, and she's a prude,” Paige muttered and shrugged. “She doesn't want people to see her body.”

  “Oh,” came the response.

  “Yeah, I know. Naturist place and the like. She's just weird.”

  “My sister's the same,” he told her. “Maybe it's just younger sisters.” Paige nodded, and with the lingering eyes and ears of her mother only a few feet away, decided that it was unwise to comment too much more.

  “Maybe,” she muttered.

  * * * * *

  “Oh hiya,” Claire called as the full-figured teenager walked past the two tents that made up Paige's family's residence for the week. “I'm off to the pool, my parents are sunbathing and my brother's in the woods, so I'm alone. Fancy joining me?”

  Paige put the last of the hot dog in her mouth and nodded, grunting with her mouth full. “Yeah,” she said through her half-chewed sausage, and grabbed the towel from underneath her, swinging it away from her sister.

  “Don't go swimming on a full stomach,” she was ordered but Paige grunted. “You'll get a tummy ache.”

  “Mum,” Paige cried in annoyance at the mothering. “I do know. I'm fine. I am eighteen.” Paige waited until she was out of earshot of her mother to complain to her holiday friend. “She fusses.”

  Claire shrugged. “My mum does it too.”

  “Bloody annoyin',” the angry girl muttered and swung her towel over her shoulder.

  “Is your sister OK?” Claire asked. “I saw her getting quite distressed earlier.”

  “That's one word for it,” Paige replied with a guilty smile, and she looked at her naked friend. “She's gone textile.” Claire didn't respond, and Paige licked her lips as she considered how best to continue. “She doesn't want people seeing her. Been like that for a couple o' years now. It winds me up.”

  “Why?” Claire asked in a concerned voice.

  “'Cause, it's naturist here. And I don't feel comfortable if some people are dressed. It's wrong. It shouldn't be allowed.”

  “But loads of teenagers and … err well adults … have times when they want to be covered up. It's just … puberty? Didn't you have that?”

  “Hell no!” Paige cried. “It's just … growing up. Did you?”

  Claire nodded and opened the gate to the pool. “A bit,” Claire admitted. “I got bullied at school about my weight so it … well it affects you.”

  “Wouldn't affect me,” Paige muttered. “Only matters if you care what people think. I get called flat-chested all the time.”

  “But, you're not,” Claire replied and the two teenagers threw their towels onto empty deckchairs.

  “I know I'm not. But 'B' cups are small now,” Paige giggled. “Not like your massive pair!”

  Claire snorted, but her companion didn't wait for a response and dived into the unheated pool. Paige emerged from the water, her red hair plastered to her face and shivered, but smiled as she pushed her shoulders under the water and panted. “It's quite warm,” she lied. “Once you get used to it.”

  Claire sat on the edge of the pool and put her shins in the cool water. She squealed and watched as Paige swam across the pool on her front and then her back. “Come in then.”

  “I'm just getting used to it.”

  “You did this earlier,” Paige moaned and flicked water at her friend. Claire shrieked and kicked the cold water back, but Paige was unmoved as the water landed on her. “Just jump in, it's easier when you just take the plunge.”

  “She's right,” the lifeguard added as he overheard the two girls talking and the shapely, black-haired eighteen year-old, pushed her body upright and tried to slide gingerly into the water.

  She shrieked when it got to her waist and pushed herself back out of the water. “It's freezing!” Paige shook her head and swam back across the pool. It took Claire a few minutes to get used to the water temperature enough to join Paige, but by this time, the energetic girl had completed a handful of laps of the pool.

  Paige and Claire raced each other several times from one side of the pool to the other, but Claire was the stronger swimmer and won almost every race. By the time they had spent almost an hour in the pool, Claire was ready to leave. “I'm getting out,” she announced, and Paige, keen not to be left alone, hauled herself out of the water and into the sunshine. “Do you want a drink?”

  Claire pointed to a vending machine on the verandah. “No change,” Paige replied and Claire reached for her money bag clipped to her towel and lent her friend the 60p she needed. They sat down on the lawn in the direct sunshine and opened their drinks. “How long you staying for?” Claire asked and made small talk with her new friend. Paige enjoyed talking to the softly spoken teenager and during their conversation, found that they had much in common. They chatted about boyfriends (they had both recently been dumped), hobbies (they both liked singing and music) and naturism (their families were both members of local naturist clubs).

  “So, why are you so angry with your sister?” Claire asked as their conversation petered out and Paige shrugged.

  “I don't know. I guess, she gets to do her own thing, and I was always told just to get on with it,” Paige admitted and rubbed her eyes. “I mean, I don't understand why she is here if she doesn't join in. I think she should go home if she doesn't want to be here, but I know that she can't. But she's here and should just be normal while she's here.”

  “I spent a few months when I hated going,” Claire admitted as she got up from the floor. “I … I didn't like my weight. When I was fourteen.” Paige screwed up her face, and Claire shrugged. “I know I am about half-a-stone overweight.”

  “No, you're not.”

  “I am,” Claire argued with her as they threw the cans into the bin. “I know that, but
when I was fourteen I was pretty skinny, like you are now.” Paige tensed and opened her mouth to interrupt, but Claire continued before she could say anything. “But I thought I was very fat and, I stopped eating.”

  “Like … Anorexia?”

  “Yeah,” Claire muttered. “That's what they called it. And I would wear T-shirts, shorts, everything. So maybe your sister is going through that?”

  “No,” Paige told her. “I know what it is. She has problems and, although she denies it, she likes the attention.”

  “Oh.” Paige and Claire walked to the tents, talking earnestly to each other, when a scowling Hazel, wearing a long T-shirt that came down to her knees, glared at them.

  “I'm saying nothing,” Paige muttered under her breath to Claire as they approached the teenager, and then broke her promise. “Hazel, seriously, what the hell is that?”

  * * * * *

  “Go on, have a go!” Paige's mother passed the small folder to her daughter as Paige watched a performer take to the stage and Hazel sulked in the corner of the small pavilion. There was a mixture of naked and clothed patrons, although Paige noticed she was towards the younger, as well as the least dressed, end of the visitors.

  “I'm not sure,” Paige replied. “I like to sing my own songs.” She looked up to see a middle-aged married couple murder a Sonny and Cher song, and then looked down at the folder. “And …”

  “You could do one with your sister,” her mother suggested, and the apprehensive Paige scowled at Hazel, who was staring at her lemonade. “We'd like that!”

  “Don't think so,” Paige muttered and looked around the room for Claire; she wasn't present, although the karaoke night had only just begun and there were many families who also hadn't arrived. Paige flicked through the folder, reading the available songs by each artist and jumped when an ice cube rolled down her back.

  Her squeals weren't heard as the couple got overly-generous applause and Paige turned to see a giggling, and dressed Claire hovering over her. “Serves you right for flicking cold water at me earlier,” the voluptuous teenager giggled and Paige scowled. She could smell alcohol on Claire's breath, and Claire pulled up a chair to sit alongside her new friend. “Sorry, this is Mum, Dad, George,” she said with a wave of the hand and pointing towards her two parents and brother sitting on the next table.

  “Well you've met my family,” Paige muttered.

  Claire grabbed the folder. “Oh, you doing it? Of course, you said you liked singing. What are you doing? Joan Jett you liked, didn't you and Pink and Katy Perry and …”

  “I wasn't going to do it,” Paige interrupted and adjusted her towel on the cold, hard seat. “I'm not great at singing in front of audiences and …”

  “Oh, I'll do it with you,” Claire gushed. “I love karaoke. I'm more of a Lily Allen and Katy Perry person but … you doing it Hazel?”

  “No!” Hazel cried and sneered at her elder sister. “Do it with her, not me.” Her mother looked expectantly at Paige.

  “What about Firework or Teenage Dream or …”

  “I'll do Hot N Cold,” Paige said firmly. “I've sung that a few times when …”

  “Great,” Claire interrupted and looked at Paige and her family. “Sorry, were we meant to be naked for tonight?”

  Paige gestured around the room at the other patrons. “It's up to you,” she told her, and Claire looked her friend. “Some people dress for the evening, and some don't.”

  “And you don't,” Claire replied as Paige, the only naked member of her family, grimaced. “Well we'd look a bit silly if you're naked and I'm dressed,” she reasoned and then caught Paige in the cheek as she moved her hands up to remove her dress and then slid her bum up to remove her knickers. “Sorry!”

  “How many have you had?”

  “A couple. With our meal. That's all. And one with the … ahh … come on!”

  Claire giggled and grabbed the hand of her red-haired friend, and Paige chuckled to herself. Claire was considerably more assertive and outgoing when she had had a bit to drink, and the excitable girl dragged Paige to the little stage.

  They had to wait for a few minutes until it was their turn, but the self-styled Karaoke Master, selected their choice of song on the karaoke machine as Claire and Paige took to the stage. Paige closed her eyes; she knew the words off by heart and waited for her cue. She was nervous, and her heart pounded in her chest. She felt butterflies dance around her bellybutton and took a few deep breaths as she opened her mouth to sing. Claire, despite being tipsy, was pitch perfect and the two girls sang in perfect harmony adding energy to the song through their enthusiastic voices.

  The room feel silent as they listened; the undercurrent of chattering and whispering during past performances disappeared and the two girls played to their attentive audience who were rapt with attention.

  Paige opened her eyes and made eye contact with her brother, but Hazel was staring at her drink and not watching her sister. Paige turned to face her singing partner, who was using the words on the screen as she sang. It was easily the biggest crowd Paige had sung in front of since she had had the disaster of the school talent show when she was sixteen, and felt the buzz of being in front of a large audience again.

  Claire went slightly off pitch as the song finished, but the two girls held the attention of the crowd and got a deafening applause from the delighted group of naturists. Paige stared at her sister who just shook her head, but gave a “woo!” and passed the microphone back to the compère.

  There was little doubt that the two teenagers had stolen the show and as the acts dried up, they were enticed back to the stage by an appreciative audience, some nagging and a couple of glasses of wine, to do a further number; Paige chose “Bad Reputation” that suited Claire's voice more than her own.

  Her attempts to get her sister to come and join them on stage for a third song were met with an angry grunt and Paige watched as the stroppy teenager stormed out of the pavilion.

  Paige caught up with her fifteen minutes later, sitting by the side of the pool and with her legs dangling over the side. “We won,” she said as she approached. “Claire and me won the karaoke.” Hazel said nothing; her eyes were focused on the ripples in the water and Paige sat down next to her. “Bit cold to go swimming?”

  “What do you want?” Hazel snorted, and Paige stared at the side of the pool; it had been a lovely evening and there was no need for her sister to spoil it with her moodiness. “Go away.”

  “Are you going to talk to me?” Paige asked and shivered in the cold, night-time air.

  “No,” Hazel spat and Paige shook her head as she righted herself to her feet. She coughed, took a step back, and pushed her sister into the icy cold water of the pool.

  Hazel shrieked and screamed as her body disappeared into the cold, bleak water. “You witch,” she spluttered loudly into the moonlit evening.

  “Language,” Paige taunted and knelt on the water's edge to reach into the pool and haul her sister out of the water. “Now you've got to talk to me.”

  “S'off,” Hazel shouted, her wet shirt and shorts clinging to her body. Paige passed her the towel that she had been sat on for most of the evening and Hazel snatched it with a grunt. “What was that for?”

  “To get you to talk to me,” her elder sister spat back and folded her arms. “'Cause you've been right moody all week and …” Hazel pushed past her and strode out of the small pool area ignoring the words of the well-intentioned girl.

  * * * * *

  “Two million hits on YouTube,” the man told Andre. “Two million. And we've sold some merchandise through our site. Eight T-shirts at the last count.”

  “Right,” Andre said as the bald man showed him into a derelict warehouse that was packed with ramps, weights, skateboards and bicycles. “I saw some of them. They looked a little bit dangerous.”

  “Yeah, that's the point,” he replied. “We ain't called Crazy Stunts for nothing. I mean, over here, that's where I got pulled along on a skat
eboard at 30mph and hit the wall.” He smiled, and Andre pulled out a sample contract from his bag.

  “And you're insured and this is your warehouse, and the like?”

  The man sniffed. “Does it matter? OK, it's not my building, but it's, falling down. No-one cares.”

  Andre hummed. “OK, that would be a problem, but my uncle'll talk 'bout that. Ummm, well, as discussed on the 'phone, my uncle might be interested. Look over this contract, and we can meet up at our office, have a chat and decide on your plans and if we help realise them and then it's … err … good.”

  “Good?” The man cried. “Effin' awesome. I mean YouTube's great, but everyone wants to be on the telly, right?” He pulled out his mobile phone and touched the screen. “This should definitely get me somewhere. Look at this one,” he shouted and flicked a video on. Andre saw a shaky hand-held camera focus on a man surrounded by flames and then run through the fire, setting his clothes alight.

  “What the …”

  “Yeah, I know. Effin' hurt like 'ell but watch this.” Andre watched open-mouthed as the man ripped off his trousers and underwear and ran back through the flames screaming as the fire touched his pubic region. The fire looked incredibly intense and after jumping through the inferno again, he ran towards the exit with the cameraman following him out of the building.

  “What's that?”

  “Oh, it's our video of the week … for next week. Pretty special, huh? That's the best thing 'bout these warehouses, we can do what we like to 'em.”

  Andre puffed. “Well we would need to sort out insurance and safety, and all that, we can't …”

  “Ahh … bollocks to that. I'd never get to do anything like set fire to a ware …” His voice trailed off as Andre listened and he sighed. “Look, we get loads of hits each week 'cause we're original. We make money.”

  “Right,” Andre muttered. “And this warehouse you filmed that in. Would that be the building just down the road that was on the news last week?”

  “No,” he cried and bit his lip. Andre raised his eyebrows and the man shrugged. “Yeah,” he admitted.

  “OK. That will be a problem. I'll see what my uncle says,” he told him and shook his hand, before walking outside the warehouse and ringing the local CID as he meandered down the road. There was an active arson investigation and Andre had an exceptionally good lead for them.